That lighthearted flow of jokes, memes, and funny quotes has a motivating influence on your workforce. Where X is work. Best of luck for a smooth labor and quick recovery! A bit because of you, but mainly because of me. Hodgepodge. ~ Ray Kroc. 7. spirituality #1. 96. ~ Ronald Reagan, Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor. These cute, silly comments are a great way to make him smile. Now take a deep breath and just relax into it. ~ Ted Turner, Why do people say they wish everyday was Friday? Excuse my naivety I was born at a very early age. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha. "Please don't make me a virgin again, it wasn't a pleasant experience last time". Keep them updated with your current activities and daily life routine. I was overcome with emotion and felt great that I had done it and I said very loudly, Omg Ive done it! ~ William Castle, What I dont like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. 01 Hey baby, you are doing so well right now that you have me feeling like the world's best soon-to-be father. You look so good I want to plant you and grow a whole field of yall. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. 34. Looking forward to celebrating with you! ~ Bill Gates. Ask Reddit has invited doctors and nurses to share their most . Reddit user Suvefuii notes that when they were a child, their parents asked their children to come up with their own unique family code words because like siblings everywhere, sharing the exact same password was just not fun for everyone involved. 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me Im crazy. Dont forward my call, I know where you live. Youre one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without the Facebook reminder. Its called everybody, and they meet at the bar. 2. Workplace fun has a way of bringing people together, reducing tension, and fostering a pleasant work environment. Memorize some of the lighthearted lines from above. Nothing, they just waved. Because youre the only 10 I see. Id like to help you out today, which way did you come in? Ive had bad luck with both my wives. ~ William C. Feather, The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches. After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. 75. Cultures I am the luckiest person in the world because I have you. they had three snakes, and one day I braided them. If you order pizza tonight, I am at your service, baby! ~ Joey Adams, Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. That was the day I decided you were my soulmate. It means the transport of goods and passengers between two places in the same country, or the right to do so. Congratulations and best of luck on the birth of your baby boy or girl. Personality After my wife died, I couldn't look at the women for 20 years. When you're in jail a good friend will be trying to bail you out. I can sit and look at it for hours. 41. So how about making the environment a tad bit more lively? Next, make fun of their appearance. May God bless you and everyone in your household. Im reading a book about anti-gravity. ~ Scott Adams, Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no eviland youll never get a job working for a tabloid. Yours is a face that only a mother and a friend like me could love. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. But friends like you lie on the floor with us and laugh our butts off together. My first labour, The meat and potato pies are burning, sob, sob, somebody please help me the pies are burning.. 28. "You brought it on yourself". ~ Vince Lombardi, Work is a necessity for man. ~ Albert Einstein, Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. " People will look forward to work when they are happy and engaged. When someone randomly changes the subject, just shout, "He's at it again.". You call me your best friend, but where the heck were you when my selfie only got 4 likes? As well as yelling at the midwife to wipe my bum as I was terrified I would get poop on the babys head. Excuse me, did it hurt? 81. My mum saw them during labour and screamed..THOSE ARE SALAD TONGS! ! As well as yelling at the midwife to wipe my bum as I was terrified I would get poop on the babys head. Earth is like the insane asylum for the universe. Live it up today, Lady! Happy birthday! 47. Whether you want to brighten up the mood when your boyfriend is having a bad day, or share some stomach-aching giggles on a date, laughing together builds intimacy and is even linked to longer-lasting relationships. In these circumstances, the presence of love and support can help inmates to be strong and hopeful for their freedom. Warmest wishes for a happy birthday! If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. Keep breathing. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. Try calling Pizza Hut just to ask for Dominos phone number. If I'd meant to do it, you'd know.". Since my biggest issue is not knowing what to say and running out of things to say quickly i decided to do and experiment, record a one sided podcast to see how long it takes before i run out of this to say when im alone, to my surprise i never did and i was pleasantly surprised by my ability to turn almost anything into a funny story and be witty, the thing is when i try to speak to someone . 25. Know your own limitations. The first one abandoned me, but the second did not. Do you struggle with small talk? 80. Its funny how the cost of living is going up but the chance of living is going down. Download this ultimate guide to learn the secret to a I dont suffer from insanityI enjoy every minute of it. He went into pay, and just then an elderly man in a wheelchair stopped him, asking him to buy cigarettes for him as the store was not wheelchair accessible. Little man was delivered onto me when he was born and I exclaimed, I actually remember saying it and sounding like it.. No joke. 36. Leave someone a text that says, "You have no idea what you've done!". Hi, I am (your name), but you can call me tomorrow! "I once punched my boyfriend in my sleep and . Ooooh someone call the cops because its got to be illegal to look that good. I would say my heart, but its just not as big. ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower, People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do. Running in place will get you nowhere fast. ~ Charlie McCarthy, An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. At the same time, unexpected or random jokes can make you more memorable. 52. He went into pay, and just then an elderly man in a wheelchair stopped him, asking him to buy cigarettes for him as the store was not wheelchair accessible. 3. 31. ~ Charles Lamb, Show me a man who is a good loser and Ill show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. ~ Anonymous, The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. Walk into a room where your friend is talking to a random male stranger and say, "Oooh! You are so crazy. I don't really need a hairstylist since my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Is there a connection between candy corn and corn nuts? 200 Sarcastic Quotes. When you go to a public bathroom, put chocolate on your hands, reach under the stall and ask for toilet paper. Each contraction brings your baby closer and closer. Just beware of accidental miscommunications. I noticed you noticing me and I want to let you know I noticed you, too. 19. Its been a long time since someone spent that much attention down there. True Love. Trying to make them laugh in a particular stressful condition can surely keep them motivated and optimistic to get back to you one day. I am cold.". A successful man is one who earns more than his wife can spend. Happy birthday to my best friend! 7. I was overcome with emotion and felt great that I had done it and I said very loudly Omg Ive done it! ~ Chris Rock, The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office. My Mum was trying to get me on the birthing ball and I said What if my lips stick to it?. Until then, Im glad we have each other. Every woman should marry an archeologist, because the older she gets, the more he'll love her. Explanation: "No joke" has a double meaning here. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. I started crying to the midwife during labour that my other half was going to miss it then when pushing I kept screaming LOUDLY that My vagina is going to explode!! So, here are a few humorous random things to say to people around you, which you can use as conversation starters to create a random weird mood. In that case, consider these texts to send a friend who . Im there, legs wide open and in walks a 6ft plus, black man with hands like shovels. Oh crap! ~ Zig Ziglar, As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Whats the best holiday present? 5. "Morning is wonderful. We're not sure who wrote the original Troy McClure out of office message, but this version by Paul Sokol of Infusionsoft is a real gem. Happy Valentines Day, cutie! A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth. 66. Boring texts are the bane of everyones existence. I tried rearranging the alphabet, but for some reason, the letters U and I would never separate. I like to be an example for others. Because youve got my interest. Do whatever feels right for you in the moment, and trust that your partner (you know the person who's not giving birth) will understand. Enough to break the ice. With millions watching.". If everything went wrong, maybe youd get a pulse. Friends buy you lunch. ~ Boves Theorem, The taxpayerthats someone who works for the federal government but doesnt have to take the civil service examination. Dating She came really close to me and all I could smell was cheese and onion crisps I dont know why I said this but I said at the top of my voice your breath stinks and then threw up.. My name is ____, but you can call me any time. You may remember me from such classic Out of Office Messages as "I'm at Outside Lands Watching Metallica" or "Visiting My Family in Florida.". Laugh more here: Hilarious Country Jokes. These funny quotes can bring laughs to your conversations, which will eventually make his heart fall into your hands. Wife is going into labor. If I tried to look as attractive as all of the celebrities I like, I'd end up looking about as ugly as I am. Maybe cheerleading is not your friend's thing. Copyright Stay at Home Mum 2023. Noah wrote Allie 365 letters, so I think you can text me back. Pack your own hospital bag. Psychology So, check out what fun things you can say to someone in jail to make them laugh. What do you say to single people on Valentines Day? Your friendship means the world to me. Sit in front of her and hold her hands. If you want to make a guy laugh, these are the best things you can say to him. Teach a man to fish, and hell buy a funny hat. Very Early Pregnancy Symptoms: How to Tell You Are Pregnant Early! They both run at the first sign of emotion. If hamburger meat makes a meatloaf, then laziness will make me-a-loaf. ~ Denise Miller, If a man smiles all the time, hes probably selling something that doesnt work. 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