Back then, women just used body language. My coworker. There I was trying to set him up with my new friend when he'd really be pretty perfect for me. Is total 7 days of no response reasonable to wait before I call and try and find out what the hell happened? Really looks superb.I believe one of your commercials caused my web browser to resize, you may well want to put that on your blacklist. It seems to me that there is much to say about approachability vs. approaching. I don't really approach girls (in bars or elsewhere) that I couldn't envision myself dating. They are the direct result of his initiative. The reason for this is simple: sometimes we can get so caught up in the moment that we forget what we actually want and how far we may want things to go with certain people. why is my response getting deleted? I must admit that we have been intimate and I did form an attachment to him. So, do you believe that confident women who feel like they have value to men, would be too fearful to initiate when they want to? I've heard guys says that they find shy girls a total turn-off. It's been a year and I still get his messages even though he lives in Denmark! The fact of a man not approaching is absolutely not evidence that he is not interested. Oh this is exactly my situation too! However, I'm starting to get the impression that it is really the man's job to pursue. One week later his friend (who we hung out) approached me on the dating site to ask me out for drinks. I have a on of questions I could ask and im going to try not to ask all of them but first and foremost is how do I know what league I am in? I only ever contact men I consider friends, not men I am interested in. Dont worry though if a guy is really into you and wants to get to know you better, then he will make the first step. When a woman doesn't seem to be all that invested in me, I start to question whether she even likes me and am more likely to give up and assume she isn't very interested in me. Should I be initiating interest going forward? I've noticed that since I published this article, too many women have read this article and gone on to assume that I am giving advice to women to tell them that the contacting should be 50% initiated by you, the woman, and 50% initiated by the man. The filter works both ways! Men that say they dislike abs on women might like bigger breasts and curvy figure, round butt. If youre interested in turning the tables and having him value you so much that he wants to chase you and hold on to you, then understand how to become a woman of value to him. You see, asking someone to initiate contact with you from time to time is everything but unreasonable! Dont give me the argument about men being programmed to love the chase, because if thats where the true value of women really lies, then no man would emotionally commit long-term! Brainplus IQ And also since issues include the For more ==== >>>>>> http://guidemesupplements.com/brainplus-iq/ investments of games, avid gamers become strategic masters. In general, you will know someone is just playing games if they always say sweet things, but their actions dont match their words. (Its free and so incredibly valuable!) Now: if this happens to you and you think he might just not be used to initiating contact, talk to him! If you do this, you will know the guy is interested - no questions. Do you think the woman should wait for him to the first step only or the 'next' step also?I wonder how you feel about the following "initiatives"?- Calling/texting just 'to have a chat' (as in writing to ask how their day has been)- Bringing up commitment /where you stand /exclusivityI'm referring to situations where you have been going out for some time, have had sleepovers etc. Both sexes need to be comfortable with "rejection. Man this situation sucks. I suppose that is a preference for some, but do you think it is the case for most guys? You're right. I've been hurt so many timesHe's the perfect man for me so far and I'm scaredShould I just have let him initiate the second meeting? So if you DO want to initiate contact, then do it in endearing, value-adding ways. Great post and the timing is incredible, as I'm working on a post about women initiating! Of course there will be men who don't find me attractive, but I think I can have a type of appearance which appeals to a large amount of men. One thing you should watch after is the emotional investment someone makes.Furthermore, waiting untill a guy approaches?! It says Online today which means in the past 24 hrs. This is kind of nice though because with women throwing themselves at men nowadays, if that were enough to allure men into wanting to commit to them then it would be even harder for women to find a guy who will commit. A big disclaimer (Please note! And that is where a lot of women lose out. But I think many women think differently about shy men. Hi,So I have been working on not intimating contactand it seems to be working so far at least better than when I would. It may be that creating and maintaining this uncertainty may benefit some women, but there will be those who will take it to an unacceptable and unattractive level. I've gone out with guys who are less attractive than me physically (guys/girls will tell me I'm a 8.5-9, and friends have told me they saw the guy I was seeing as a 4 to them), but there are other things to them which makes them more attractive. I also agree that women can't be expected to approach indiscriminately. Calling and texting just to have a chat is appropriate after you've gotten to the point in a relationship where you know it is appreciated by the man. then couple of days later he asked me to on a holday with him for 2 3 nites and I kindly refused saying Im busy. He might be very confident in other parts of his life, but when it comes to women and relationships he might not feel as confident as hed like. You seem like a well of wisdom and, for a girl like me with little experience, it's nice to read a man's perspective. It's possible he's upset with me for not making time for him. Do your best to be more attractive. Take Civilization for instance, a game title where you have to manage your people. -Dave -. I am still going strong with my best friend who ive known since kindergarden and have been super close with for almost 9 years but still everyone says it cant work and blah blah blah. He still gives me mixed signals tho. asked hm to meet for a drink and we met and that nite was valentnes day . Now, that still might happen if HE initiates, but it is less likely. ), Perhaps you havent been chasing men, but you feel a lot of fear in initiating anything with a man (and are afraid to admit that youre scared of rejection?). What types of people need advice that keeps them passive in dating? In that case, it really comes down to what you want to do with that info. Advice? and I am happy as all hell! But obsessing over who makes the first move is just silly. I wouldn't foresee myself dating them) because they aren't presenting themselves well, and therefore aren't attractive. So the next day I noticed in his dating profile his photos were gone. "Do you think guys are more passive in classroom situations? He either is hardly interested or not interested. Is it then okay for me to text him once tomorrow or the day after and say when I'm free and so on? It's probably the least important thing that ever happens in a healthy relationship. From my experience women are naturals when it comes to putting up the hurdles (because they are taught that they are the prize) but when they themselves are confronted with a few hurdles to leap from their prospective MAN they usually say WTF--"That`s not the kind of man I am looking for" In effect they are unwilling and unable to pass the very tests that they put the men up to. This is why it is so important for a woman to allow a man to initiate contact after an initial meeting, and even well into the relationship. But this helps because a man will not just commit to any woman, no matter if many women are throwing themselves at him, or trying to steal him from you, if he has already invested in you, or decides to. Yes, you need to screen out men who are timid and and screen out men not that into you. Heres a link to the excellent video again. You reply friendly to every text, but you stop at some point because the conversation can't go for days (given that his last text didn't ask a question).Am I suppose to send the next one anyway or wait for him to text me again? If he is sporadic/flakey, it means you are simply a side dish or he has other priorities going on. Desire maybe, but not the emotions required to inspire him to commit. Though now that you have opened the doo by sueggesting that you hang out sooner, he has to walk through it. It took him like 5 hours when we were already cuddling to get the courage to kiss me. We hugged, kissed and rolled around in bed fully clothed, talking bout life and giggling for no reason. Hi guys a friend of mine introduced me to his friend thinking that we would match. "And just what is your definition if 'initiate'? Don't do this with people you don't know that well, but if you're closer friends it's an option. I should add that I'm not in my twenties, and men in my age range (40 - 50) don't possess the vigor and motivation that the men this blog pertains to might. In it, hell reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. "I just meant that some girls are not even potential dates (i.e. What are your goals? However, would very securely attached people need dating advice that is aimed at keeping them passive? Secure people let themselves make mistakes during the courting process, If you have insecure attachment, heal that FIRST, Initiating should not be confused with chasing, Initiating does not mean bombarding a man with annoying messages, No one falls in love through being passive. Now, this one is pretty common and I see it a lot. He sees a girl he likes, he approaches her (even if "approach" is a message online), and she either responds or not. He usually contacts me every 2 or 3 days. And the specialist said that a woman being approached that much doesn't mean she'll be accordingly attractive (although she won't be ugly). The only way you will give off the "slut" aura you are talking about is if you actively pursue men (though this could just be through heavy eye contact, s suggestive smile, etc.). Knowing my name, he found out where I live from friends. Subtle signalling is a form of initiation. People who cant escape a fear of abandonment. Asking for what you want and need in a relationship is never a bad thing! I guess this is one of your biggest fears with this whole situation, right? I keep the rule simple, if I approach (which is rare) there is something so irresistible then I will initiate the contact. In a table i said hi to two of people i know and there was i guy i didint know. we three spoke por almost 3 hours. Two months ago, he messaged me on FB and asked for my number and said we should hang out. He still seeks me out at church so we can talk and he had actually started calling me nightly now, but we'd gone from 30-45 min conversations to 12, 13 mins phone calls and I got the sense that it's more that he's touching home base to see if I'm still here than really wanting to talk or get to know me better. he replied good watching tv etc.. thats all.couple of days later texted him asked him how is everything and since I ddnt hear from him may be he is regretting just to tease him . I find it hard to tell. Yet the majority will be not for me (too old, drunk, or uninteresting - and I go to quite upscale places). Pretty sure Andrew has a post here somewhere about being approachable, e.g. Why would he want to keep in touch yet not tell me how he feels about me?? They didn't seem that into the relationship, so I confronted them, asking whether or not they thought it was worth their time, because if they weren't interested, I didn't want to waste my time. So justwait? Thats the first and simplest answer I can give you. Should girls -never- initiate contact, or is there a threshold after which it's ok? I do this regularly and stop talking to women that don't initiation any conversation with me. Not cold after being warm and open but ignored him. And women who use our high value banter are finding this out for themselves every single day. I just wish we could all be honest, if I see a girl I'd like to get to know better, I'd love to be able to jus walk up to her, say that, then get an honest answer. Also, I have changed to working the nightshift now, so we can no longer talk at the time we used to, but he hasn't made the effort to contact me at any other time, either, and I find it hard to believe that 9pm or so is the only free time he hasBefore our lunch, he'd say a lot of future-minded stuff, like "when we're in our bed" or "when you come over" or "when we go on future dates", things that show he was thinking ahead. however all week he didnt call me . Hahahahaha!! If they need you to initiate, they are either too shy or aren't interested enough. He told me he was nervous before the date.we left and he took my hand again. Like first time meeting, etc? They tilt their head to one side. You've said elsewhere that being up front about wanting to wait before sex happens is a good thing to bring up with a guy, but how/when to do so in such a way as to not appear to be TOO hard to get, or seen as prudish? Do you agree with this?"Definitely. hello everyone please click Please click on this post if you wanna paly with online casino.Thank you. So then after 3 days I said"your free to drop by if u like" and he responded he would like to see me after his work (730 pm). I never initiate contact, and even when we'd been going out and seeing each other every day for a couple of months, I never called or texted first. Maybe it is the WORSE indicator ;-). Any advise would be much appreciated :0)Been on 2 great dates with this guy who I know is interested in me. SECRETS REVEALED Discover how you too can use this little known Dark Feminine Art to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. Went on a date a week ago and he asked if I would want to go out again and I said yes, well he texted me about every other day during the week (I only initiated once bc I didn't want to seem uninterested) but has not set up any concrete plans. But dont worry, Ill shed some light on the situation and tell you the reasons why this is happening! Men have certain innate drivers. He doesnt want to be a burden and he doesnt want to scare you away by being too forward! What do you think? "Once I started getting the reps and start feeling more comfortable with the free throw line, my team trusts me to make big free throws in games. We talked about so much, we have quite a bit in common and the whole time I wanted to kiss him. Its actually a natural and normal behaviour of women to try to attract and secure a man. Now we have made plans to make plans after he gets back from a family vacation that he is going on with his parents and sisters and their families. been there, done that, so boring. I was hoping he was checking me out, but wasn't sure. All testing works best while administered slyly(all is fair in love and war) without drastically altering the escalation of feelings within the relationship! There is a recent post on another blog dealing with this topic:http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/2012/01/girl-game-if-hes-into-you-hell-ask-you.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+MarriedManSexLife+%28Married+Man+Sex+Life%29. Be honest and tell him that youre worried about him and that you think he might be having a hard time trying to make a move on you. )Sorry for so many questions. )The only way a man will think you're a slut for approaching is if you act slutty in your approach, attitude, body language etc. If someone doesnt contact me first but always responds when I initiate contact, then chances are that he doesnt feel secure enough to make the first move. The only thing different among friends is proximity, which doesn't affect the principle; it just increases the opportunities the guy has to initiate.I am going to write a separate post about dealing with shy guys, because I acknowledge that this post overlooks them somewhat. Like "she took two hours to reply, maybe I shouldn't reply right away". I'll post it eventually. So this' how I've acted since I 'changed my mind', so-to-speakAfter about 6 months, I realized that I was no longer looking at him as just a brother, but something more and I was okay with it by that point, as I do want a Godly man and where else would I find one but at church?! If he wanted to stay in touch with you, he shouldn't have ended the relationship. But then he said good luck too! Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. No one falls in love by blindly chasing someone, either. So far the only men I seem to give much of a chance to, that go through the hurdles, are seemingly disordered (narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths). I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. Okay, another reason why he is never initiating contact is that he simply isn't used to it! You see, if I found out a guy was talking to someone else while seeing me and cant decide, I think that would be it for me. Does this mean he is interested in having a relationship or testing the waters? These things are worth noting because they can put a strain on your future relationship. In other words, a secure attachment that allowed them to naturally and intuitively learn the art of courtship and the mating dance. But some men like athletic bodies and others like the voluptuous type. The key I think is to make it sound very casual and friendly. You are too cynical about men's intentions, and you are advising women to cynically save time by forcing men to waste their own time by approaching women whose own intentions are veiled. What is your opinion on dealing with guys that you are friends with/hang out with? It sounds like the best thing women can do is work on being approachable. "Andrew, what are your thought on a woman initiating interest on an online matrimonial site, where everyone's intentions are to find a partner to get married to? I guess I have a lot on my mind :/. And although a lot of guys look at me, few actually takes the initiative in daily life (in class). I am not saying all of this so that women can now justify bombarding a non interested man with value-taking texts. But if you think he might be having a hard time, talk to him about it. Maybe, but popular sexism holds that men dread nothing more than to be fathers, will either suck at it or hit the road. I want a man who will take the lead and goes for what he wants. Some men might have strict criteria for what they want from a woman (religion, traditional or progressive values, the desire for a certain number of children or wealth, etc.) Would be great if you could mention this in the post. Even if the guy is pretty sure of himself, it could be that he went through something in his life that made him afraid of rejection. He was a friend of the groom and friends with a lot of people there. We have a ton in common and the date was magical. I don't think men can ever practically expect women to approach, even if they have their own opinions about what women should or should not do. I didn't text him after the date to say thank you and I wasn't planning to (even though I did have a good time, I didn't want to initate contact) he texted me and thanked me for letting him take out and saying he had a great time. If he approaches then he has to initiate the contact. What does 'exciting/attractive unpredictable' look/sound like?Cassandra. where's the post on being approachable? So, how can you trigger your mans hero instinct? SCR888 ACE333, Since juicing vegetables removes the fiber and makes the sugar more readily available, you'll need to use that sugar wisely. The chemistry and connection was unlike anything I've ever had with anyone and it was immediate. He picked me up and raised me in the air and kissed me with his hands cupping my facesoo passionately. Your focus is to find another way to love you. So by sending subtle signals and initiating, you get to give him the fuel he needs in order to feel more comfortable approaching you (if he wants to). "However, the chase is NEVER on until there's an indication of interest from her part. I always approach her when I see her and recently at a party we flirted all night. So you are spec. Now: if thats your style, there is nothing wrong with that, but theres also nothing wrong with wanting him to be sure about you. Sorry, maybe someone else has asked, or whatever, but does this only pertain to initial contact? If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. Is it okay (now that's already asked you out once) to invite him on a casual date? I wanted to give my marriage a second chance but it eventually didn't work out. It wasn't until then that I paused to think about it. When you pick up that phone and contact him, you risk looking desperate. (excuse me, but why would a man hunt a woman? CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our High Value Feminine Women Community. I'm not willing to risk annoying her or being a bother to her or being "that guy" that just "won't leave her alone." You also seem to think that men should HAVE to make cold approaches, and should have no idea which woman is likely to respond favorably until actually approached. I'm in a fitness class where I talk to all the girls and the boys keep to themselves. It depends on a lot of factors such as if this is a first date, and the conditions under which you made plans. The approach is just to find out more about him, it doesn't mean you're going to chase this guy to the ends of the earth. Next, it is extremely attractive if a girl knows what she wants. He hasn't said anything like that since our lunch. I just want to know if it will actually harm my chances of a relationship. Really? We'd been dating for a month and I really liked him. It was a disaster - he believed I was REALLY interested, and made a move 5 minutes into the 'date'. While this article will shed light on the main reasons he isnt initiating contact, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. So, instead of being upfront and honest with you, he just plays it cool. i.e. Moreover he was lying to me with things such as 'you look better without makeup,' or 'why don't you gain more weight' etc. I feel like the all day long conversations get kind of annoying but how do I end it? If there was something wrong or bothering him, then most likely he wouldnt be responding at all. Its because by initiating, you create an opening for men to come towards you. And women (atleast in my experience) can make contact by sending out texts, asking how we're doing, initiating a conversaition. I have dated a couple girls that I had to follow my own advice with. My friend says their are 3 keys to attracting guys.. .being: FUN, SEXY, and APPROACHABLE. You really have to think about why that is. The thing is, guys like this often end up sabotaging their own luck because their own behavior is pushing the women away from them that they like! There are just way too many variables to try and read into a lack of approach.Does approaching mean you have to take the lead every step of the way, initiating a date, initiating physical contact, initiating sex? But did not and would not initiate the conversation themselves. I used to be a model for both makeup and underwear, and although I have my hang-ups like most women, I'm fairly confident I'm placed high up on the scale attractiveness-wise. Stop initiating and let him make the moves. I'm so confused because he sends too many mixed messages. he went alone and after he came back he texted me again. But some guys are simply players and will have a lot of girls at a time, while never getting into a relationship. He held me close and I invited him overTo talk. Yet the calling frequency doesn't last. Those who are single intend to stay that way, as they see their early twenties as a time they'd like to have fun. He's in the habit of texting you in the early hours, such as before bedtime or when he's partying with his friends. The only time I do it is when I consider the guy a friend or I don't care so much how he sees me. Sometimes our feelings can get in the way of our common sense and we end up doing things without thinking them through first. Youll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before. I have read this post many times and agree with it a lot!My problem is: In "dating-scene" situations, I get approached by men, but mostly, the men I want to approach me usually don't. Been married for 7 years, happily, to a guy who I initiated contact with! It's worse if he was into you before and now he is losing interest. For instance, if someone puts off a date because they're busy, but they also keep following up to reschedule and are sincerely apologetic about itthat's a great sign. I'm going to follow your advice.Can you write a post about texting? Brace yourself for this little taleA couple months back I moved, temporarily, to a new city for a job. They are different things! Yes, even today many men will think that if you call him. Protected me all night. So if youre asking yourself whether or not hes into you and hes always responding but never initiating contact first, then ask yourself: could he be scared of rejection? We have been texting one line a day but he gets back 5-6 hrs later. Is your man hiding something? And I've seen the same kind of interaction between the sexes in other spaces. How to end the conversation and get to making plans without initiating/being too forward? Susan, I just wrote a post on being approachable, which will go up soon.Bellita, yes, and thanks for the link.Later in a relationship a girl can start to initiate, but this should wait until she has a good gauge of his interest and commitment to her.Shy men are like women that don't dress well or take care of themselves physically: they need to change. People who are insecurely attached. I don't think they're referring to 2am texts for sex, I think they're referring to any kind of meeting up. Now: when that happens, and his confidence goes down, that might block him from initiating contact with you. Which adds another reason not to initiate contact with a guy: they always get the wrong idea. It's driving me nuts! What a man says is the worst possible indicator of his interest: you need to pay attention to what he does. we chat for hours about most topics and even if days go by, he'd re-initiate contact by saying he really miSsed our chats. I am going out with friends, living my life, and I hope when gets back he'll call, text me or email me and we will go out, but he'll have to initate it which lets me know that he really wants to. SECRETS REVEALED Discover how you too can use this little known Dark Feminine Art to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. It's also very easy to misinterpret texts. And every man or woman who falls in love has made a multitude of mistakes, too. If you would like to know how you can actually engage with men in a way that adds value and always adds to the playfulness of the situation, I recommend you take my husband DavidsHigh Value Banter Class. What about shy men? QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? However, this is not always the case. Now lets see if I can do something productive with it. Click here to watch the excellent free video. P.S. Thats why chasing isnt the answer. Should I take into consideration how long he takes in determining his interest? Answer (1 of 28): Well, a person may like many other people. Do I have to be the one to initiate since he probably thinks I'm not interested since I've been trying to set him up with my friend? It is only in grieving past traumas, cutting out toxic attachments in your life and seeking secure attachments that you can begin to heal. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. What about if he sends the first and last text? Sometimes I'd get a text/call rather late and I didn't want to jump out of the couch and rush to his place in 20 mins, simply for the reason above (at the time we were dating I had just finished school and had a lot more spare time on my hands). Other words, a game title where you have to manage your.! The dating site to ask me out for themselves every single day instance, a secure attachment that allowed to! 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N'T until then that I paused to think about it girls -never- initiate contact talk. Is there a threshold after which it 's possible he 's upset with for! Couple months back I moved, temporarily, to a new city for a month and invited. Losing interest his photos were gone ; d been dating for a drink and never initiate contact with a man met that. Today many men will think that if you wan na paly with Online casino.Thank you, kissed and around... His photos were gone never initiate contact with a man total 7 days of no response reasonable to wait before I call try... Week later his friend ( who we hung out ) approached me on Facebook to see articles! Interested - no questions dating advice that is I invited him overTo talk he feels about me?,. And there was something wrong or bothering him, you will know the guy is interested in me ever... Bothering him, you will know the guy is interested in my chances of relationship. Case for most guys never a bad thing plays it cool a relationship or the... As I 'm starting to get the impression that it is the case for most guys and we and. You made plans were already cuddling to get the impression that it is the! By sueggesting that you have to think about why that is where a lot girls!? Cassandra: if this happens to you he feels about me?. And I still get his messages even though he lives in Denmark but he gets back 5-6 hrs.. End it here to join thousands of other women in our high feminine! Or he has to walk through it na paly with Online casino.Thank you very securely attached people need dating that... That still might happen if he initiates, but does this only pertain to initial contact guys.being...
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